Friday, November 1, 2013

Be you...

Because I said so: The end of the make-believe Supermom
Share via email

The modern-day Supermom has a lot of expectations to live up to. (Stock photo by
Good people of Utah Valley, if you don’t mind, I’d like to opt out of the Supermom Olympics. If my daughter wants to run around in a stained, ripped leotard all day and not a sweater set from Baby Gap, I say go for it. If my minivan is dirty and fishy-smelling instead of detailed and pristine, so be it. I’m exhausted, and I’m sick of playing grownup make believe.
In February, the KSL-TV lifestyle show Studio 5 had its monthly theme to encourage viewers to “live without pretending.” It’s something that I’ve always struggled with, and I realize I’ve spent the last decade I’ve lived in Utah keeping up with not only the Joneses, but also the Maylees and Taylees, the Navyies and Lakynns.
Among the ridiculous, cringeworthy things I’ve done over the years:
  • I once made bread but decided not to take a loaf to a neighbor because I didn’t have any cute fabric ribbon to tie it up with. I only had curling ribbon.
  • I have, on more than one occasion, missed the sacrament, the holiest and most important religious ritual of my week, because I wouldn’t leave for church without styling my 2-year-old’s hair.
  • When my kids were doing something cute and spontaneous that I wanted to post to Instagram, I restaged it to show a better angle of my house, one without diapers, wipes and toys strewn on the floor.
As I’m typing this I know how silly I sound. I’ll be the first to admit I have a problem, and it has little to do with where I live and everything to do with my own Narcissism. But sometimes I just feel enormous pressure to fit in here in our beautiful, Happy Valley, to have Michelle Obama biceps and a sparkling house, to teach my kids Chinese and to speak reverently about how we all gave up sugar.
There are a million wonderful things about living in Utah County. We have gorgeous mountains and Café Rio. We have a low crime rate and a high quality of life. But the hard thing is that everyone seems so dang perfect, especially where parenting is concerned.
Have you seen Pinterest? Am I the only mom in the world who isn’t throwing birthday parties with hand-calligraphied menus and whimsical fondant cakes?
As part of my recovery, I feel the need to put this out there: My kids wear mostly hand-me-down clothes, and I’m working part-time not because it’s fun and exciting but because I need to help pay for soccer fees and our mortgage. I have long been feeding my kids too much sugar and not enough vegetables, a problem I am working on but haven’t totally fixed. Our family nights sometimes end with little-boy fistfights.
Here’s another thing: I love being a mom. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and, to paraphrase a quote I keep seeing on Facebook, I don’t want to get so caught up with being a super mom that I forget to be a good one. I want less ironing and more fun, less obsessing about perfection and more recognizing joy.
That’s why when I see children at church with wet hair and mismatched shoes, I want to throw my arms around their mother and weep.  A dear friend once said that she let her house get messy in order to help other people feel better about themselves. I laughed about that for weeks. But this friend does make me feel better about myself, and it has nothing to do with the state of her house. She is genuine and caring, positive and real.
That’s all I’m asking of myself, and everyone else. Let’s be real. If you love to sew and can whip up children’s clothing cuter than anything at Nordstrom, that’s fantastic. Make a dress for me too. If you are a great cook, or just naturally gifted at elaborate little-girl hairdos, let those talents shine, shine, shine. I will love and applaud your efforts. But if some days the most you can manage is stringy hair and sweatpants at Walmart, and you don’t even have enough left in the tank to reprimand your kid when he pees in the cart, that’s fantastic too. As with the Velveteen Rabbit, our imperfections make us loveable, make us real.
Besides, I promise to crop out your pee-pants kid and add a flattering filter before posting your picture to Instagram. Really, it’s the least I can do.

Elyssa Andrus

Monday, February 4, 2013

Our happy surprise!

So excited to announce our happy little surprise!
We couldn’t be more excited about this new little life
coming into our lives and feel privileged that we have
been blessed with such a sweet little gift! As excited I am to be a mother , I have found so much joy in all of this for Benj and his excitement to be a Dad! (It's so darn cute!) He will honestly be amazing!
I don’t know if two people could be even more excited then we are and have so much love for this little life already! I'm sooooo in love!

Made this little movie as we were moving and decided to add
our exciting news at the end! More pictures and stories about finding out and all in my next post!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

    Halloween this year was such a blast! Emily and I dressed up as two pigs in a blanket and at the very last second I got Benj to dress up as a nerd! He was a great sport about it and i think by the end of the night he actually enjoyed it ( though he'd never say)! My little niece and nephew were adorable (as always) and were a 50's girl and a little lion! We went to the truck-or-treat a few nights before Halloween and then went around the neighborhood Halloween night . Benj and I had the most fun just watching our sweet niece and nephew light up as they got to see other customs, knock on doors , and really have so much fun with the holiday. It will be so much fun to see each year as they get it more and more and see the excitement grow! Can't wait to see what next Halloween will entail...maybe next year Benj and I will get a custom together...... just maybe! :)

President Romney???

          Out here in Florida , the election was on everyones mind more then ever! Florida is an important state to win and I have never seen such an overflow of diehard republicans and democrats! I decided to join my diehard sister-in-law , Emily , and attend a few repulican rallies. It was a lot of fun and really exciting to support Romney during his running. He would have made a wonderful President and I'm sad to be able to never witness that , but i still feel like he made a huge impact on Americans in more ways then one......


Thursday, November 15, 2012

England (overload)

I have never in the history of my (short) blogging career uploaded so many pictures , but i felt this trip to England was absolutely life changing and so captivating that it had to be done! The pictures are absolutely scattered everywhere and are totally out of order , but i didn't think that mattered much!:) Hope you enjoy the pictures of the place that has stole my heart forever....